The Ideal You skill: a decision-making tool for wellness!
Ideal You is a skill for making a decision when you’re confused, overwhelmed, and unsure what to do. The purpose of the Ideal You skill is to connect you with your soul’s desire – your needs, values and priorities – so that you can perceive beyond any immediate internal inhibitions and other distractions that may lead you astray from your wellness path. You bypass your monkey mind and distracting feelings, and use mental imagery and probing questions to identify what you need to do. This skill allows you to skirt any self-limiting assumptions and beliefs. It ignores your transient feelings and thoughts and brings to conscious awareness what you truly want for yourself. It allows you to see past all the psychological fog that can act as a barrier to efficient and effective action. By acting on what the Ideal You would do, you become the Ideal You!
Ask yourself:
‘If I were to behave now as the best version of myself, without any limiting beliefs or restraint, what would I do?’
‘In this moment, what are my needs, values, and priorities and how can I meet them in a loving, healthy, and sustainable way?’
‘What could I do right now to help me feel well, safe, and proud?’
‘In my fantasy, I next do …’
In a nutshell, you ask your ideal self a direct question requiring a concrete answer. The simplicity and matter-of-fact nature of this question facilitates honest deliberation. Rather than overthinking all the options, you’re forced to come straight to your truth. The Ideal You tool forces you to enquire as to your best path forward. Use this when you feel unsure about how to get through your day or what will serve you best. It helps with decision-making, triaging your to-do list, dealing with urges and self-limiting beliefs, and getting out of your comfort zone. You can use this skill during any time of self-reflection to guide growth. It’s a simple technique you can turn to when in moments of self-care deliberation. Not sure what to eat? Not sure how to navigate a hectic workday? Not sure how to best utilise a few idle hours? Try this hack.
I call it the Ideal You skill because you use a future-focused vision of a highly evolved version of yourself to guide you to action. This skill brings your attention towards your dreams and desires for your health and wellbeing and points you towards action that facilitates that direction. Sometimes our mind and environment can sabotage our decision-making capacity by throwing us distractions, self-limiting beliefs and thoughts, and urges or tempting influences. All of these can shift us off course, thereby derailing our wellbeing efforts. Having a skill to draw on during these times can help avoid moments of confusion, overwhelm, self-harm, self-sabotage, and keep us focused and moving towards what we need for ourselves.
The word ‘ideal’ seems to encapsulate qualities like realistic, objective, non-judgemental, honest and easygoing. If the idea of an ‘ideal’ doesn’t resonate, substitute language that works better for you. Other adjectives could be: ‘fantasy’, ‘wise’, ‘healthy’, ‘highest’, ‘kindest’, or even ‘parent’.
It isn’t about aiming for perfect or best or even better. This skill aims to shoot you towards ideal – and that can be far from perfection, depending on the day and what you’re working with. The ideal version of you lives aligned with your chosen values and priorities, meets your holistic health needs and is self-compassionately disciplined. IdealYou is your highest self: who your soul yearns for you to be, the self that carries you through your human life optimally, lives fully and freely, truly making the most of their worlds. Ideal You is firmly based in reality and your truth: you know who you are, how you are and what you need, and you can manage all that as best you can ideally.
It doesn’t matter who you may think you are today or what you may think you’re capable of, or how hard you may think you’ll find carrying out the thing Ideal You would do. Instead of all that worry, simply reach an authentic conclusion as to what Ideal You would do. How would Ideal You respond right now? This skill removes paralysis by overanalysis and negative filtering.
Answering the question, ‘How would Ideal You respond now?’ may make it just that little bit easier to let go of any inhibiting internal resistance and urges that may be interfering with your clarity. Imagine being presented with a new work project that’s big and scary. Maybe you notice there’s a part of you excited by this prospect, but other loud bits are focused on all the ‘what ifs’ regarding potential failure and other negative worries. If the work venture aligned with your values and priorities and was within your abilities, then the Ideal You would go for it. Wouldn’t they? I suspect Ideal Youwould seize the day!
Mental imagery is an effective way to cultivate a sense of what an ideal version of you would do. Generally, it can be hard to simply answer a question in your head and especially when overwhelmed by options or urges towards unhelpful habits. Accessing an image in your mind of what you could choose to do is likely to be an easier way to answer your question. The imagery also serves as a blueprint for the next steps moving forward. By picturing your actions, you see what you need to do and how to go about it, making it that little bit easier to take the leap from idea to action.
Next time you’re not sure what to do with yourself, take the time to write out what the Ideal You would do. Enjoy this process. Remember that the Ideal You is self-compassionate, self-honest, and self-disciplined. Remind yourself of your holistic needs, your values, and your priorities. Make a list of steps and then simply start undertaking them. Commit to the list, discard internal-world distractions and off-putting experiences, and turn your focus to the first step. Then just keep going through that list. Give it your best shot. Before you know it, you’ll be on a roll and proud of your efforts. You may even find yourself completing your list. Now, evaluate the outcome. Did you find this empowering to do?
